bär cōde: Your Personal Pocket Decoder to the Modern Dating Scene
Another book to keep me up on the world of dating (see: He’s Just Not That Into You) from my friend* Rachel. This book is structured as a dictionary of terms to describe common dating occurences. Some of my favs include:
- Brad Pity: n. The act of cooling your girlfriend’s jets for some pretty-boy actor by telling her that he’s gay.
- Cargument: n. The one-sided post-argument argument you have with your boyfriend on your way to work — alone.
- Discommunicate: v. Saying you’re not going to tell how far you got on a date in order to mislead others into thinking you went all the way.
- Dude Swings: n. Alternatively hating and loving a guy from one minute to the next.**
- False Bra-vado: n. Misguided belief that you can work a woman’s bra.
- Miss Match: n. The great-looking girl that dates your butt-ugly buddy.
- Retrosex: n. The act os sleeping with your ex to show him you’re over him and therefore ready for him back.
- Score-drobe: n. The lucky skirt, shirt, shoes, or dress that guarantee results.
- Sheet-faced***: adj. When shacking, how your morning-after hair and makeup look.
- Tartifacts***: n. The clothing or jewelry you accidentally (on purpose) leave at his house as an excuse to contact him again.
- Teengauger: n. Empirical method of distinguishing the gorgeous nineteen-year-old from the potentially crimal fifteen-year-old.
- Update: v. To date out of your league.
**coincidentally, this is also the emotion that die hard Canucks fans hold for their team.
***my absolute fav is a toss-up between ‘sheet-faced’ and “tartifacts.”